he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
