I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You are a genius and a whore.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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