Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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