Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
