The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
