you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
