their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
