What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
is wine microwaveable?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
