yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
