So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
