If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
