she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
