I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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