I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
