ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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