I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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