I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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