I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
