More tranny stories later!
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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