This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
