I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
