didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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