I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
