He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
