it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
