I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
