Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
