Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
