so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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