wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
