ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
