It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize