dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
