My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize