i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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