So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
