Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Randomize
