whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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