You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
