Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
