I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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