i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
This is my life. Enjoy the view
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize