am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
