Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
