put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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