So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
