So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
