I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
