since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
