You're my little dorito
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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