Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Randomize
