I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
