ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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