I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
