I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
