It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
