What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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