Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
