He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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