she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
