I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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