HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
