I met the friendliest cop last night
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
