a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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