Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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