We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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