I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
