I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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