I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
