i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
