My brain says no but my pants say off.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
